


The Market Place

by Cosmicak



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/F, Fem! Akatsuki, Fem! Hidan, Fem! Kisame!, Gift, Gift Exchange, I may add more to this later as I LOVE this duo, Kisame and Hidan are besties, bros, genderbent, thevirus-queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 05:30:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22005928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmicak/pseuds/Cosmicak
Summary: Hidan and Kisame finally have time off to hang out and the two gal pals decide to head off to the market for a day!Gift for Thevirus-Queen on tumblr! I love this duo too so I may add to this with more adventures of Shark girl and bitch face
Relationships: Hidan/Hoshigaki Kisame, Hidan/Kakuzu (mentioned)
Kudos: 19





	The Market Place

Kisame was starting to learn why exactly Kakuzu warned her about going out to the Rain Village market with the Akatsuki’s own religious zealot who also happened to be her closest friend in the organisation (aside from her beloved partner, of course). She watched as the furious jashinist woman swore and cursed the poor merchant for trying to persuade her to buy a pretty necklace, which then urged Hidan to rage at the poor old man for his greed and apparently insulting the ‘Great Lord Jashin’. 

When Kisame saw the woman reach for her weapons pouch she took a big step over to the smaller woman and wrapped her arms around her waist, holding her back as she swung a pike at the frightened elderly merchant, her silver hair flying around as she thrashed in the shark kunoichi arms. 

“Hidan you need to calm down!”

“You’re NOTHING than a fucking FAITHLESS OLD ASS-“ Kisame covered her mouth as she screeched, eyes full of fire as a crowd gathered around them. It took a one show of sharp pointy teeth for the crowd to park, letting Kisame pull Hidan away from the stall, still feeling Hidan swearing up a storm under her hand at the villagers staring at them. It wasn’t until the reached the quieter part of the market that she let the immortal go.

“I can’t BELIEVE you pulled me away from that old pruned fuck!” Hidan sneered, securing her pike into the weapons pouch, deep purple eyes furiously looking at her. 

“If I hadn’t saved your ass from killing a civilian, Pain would have had YOUR ass for it” She shot back, crossing her strong arms. Hidan kept her glare for a moment before clicking her tongue, turning her head. “Whatever you big blue bitch” 

Kisame threw her head back in booming laughter, sharp teeth gleaming in the sunlight.

“That’s the most absurd insult I’ve ever heard come of out your loud mouth of yours, like ever” She chortled, watching Hidan’s annoyed frown turn into a sly grin, eyes turning in her direction. 

“Oh fuck off, come on. Let’s go get some grub I’m fucking starving myself to death over here!”

“If you’ll pay” She teased.

“Over my dead body”

__________________________________

The two women sat down with their vendor foods; Tenshindon* for Kisame and Spare Ribs for Hidan, Kisame watched Hidan hold her rosary to her lips briefly before digging into her food, eating it with such ferocity, Kisame slid the remaining napkins over to Hidan, praying to whatever gods were listening that she used them before digging into her own food. 

“So what the fucks the deal with what’s her face, the stoic, black hair, homicidal chick?”

“Hidan we’ve been working together for years, her name is Itachi” Kisame drawled, exasperated. Kisame knew Hidan knew who Itachi was, and yet always liked getting on her nerves about her. 

“Fuck okay, jeez. What’s the deal with you and Itachi?” The immortal questioned, eyes peering from over the rib she was biting into. 

“We’re partners, we work together. What the hell else would our deal?”

“I don’t know, that you’d fuck or something? You’re obviously super fucking close, closer than my tits” she shrugged, throwing the bone to the side. “Or whatever-“

Kisame laughed quietly to herself, eyes scanning the area for a distraction, as Hidan kept talking “sure”.

“Because you know, it’s good to get some pent up shit out y’know? Me ‘n Kuzu get it on all the time! It’s fucking amazing how that shit can mellow you out, maybe you could try it for ‘tachi? Jashin knows the stick up her ass could use some loosening-“ Hidan was interrupted by Kisame’s kick to the shin. 

“What? What!? What the fuck was that for? I’m just telling you the honest to Jashin truth you fuck!” Hidan shrieks as Kisame lowers her foot, biceps rippling as she rests her elbows on the table, leaning forward. 

“You’re fucking kakuzu?”

“I literally just fucking told you I was”

“Since when?!”

Hidan put her finger to her chin, glancing up for a moment before shrugging.

“A couple months back? Fuck if I know” She answered, leaving Kisame with a filthy grin on her face, Hidan paused chewing on one of the bones and raised a silver eyebrow.   
“What?”

“Tentacles huh?”

“Oh FUCK off”

_________________________________

After the two finished eating and Kisame finished prodding Hidan on how Kakuzu, by technicality, a senior woman, could have sex (And Kisame wishing she never asked) they continued walking through the market before stopping at weapons stall. The vendor calling them over, the two peered down to what the vendor held in a box towards the two women. The box held cloth wrapping and weapon wax, they turned their gaze up to the young vendor, if Kisame had to guess, she thought the kid was about 18. 

“What’s this for?” She motions to the box, slapping the pale hand away from grabbing the weapon wax immediately, a quiet curse coming from beside her. 

“You and your team have restored great life into this village and without you we all would have been left to the wolves with the other villages, so I thought to gather gifts for all of you..” A red tinge accompanies the young mans cheeks, his eyes diverting from looking the two kunoinchi. Kisame let out a roaring laugh and slapped a hand on the young man’s back, making him stumble forward slightly, not used to the generosity of a stranger, despite her appearance. Hidan gave him a look of perplexity, finger pointed accusingly at him. 

“This ain’t a joke right? Not to sound like the old bitch back home but nothing in life is fuckin free” She spat, narrowing her eyes and looking the man up and down, making his splutter. 

“N-no! Of course not! I swear that there’s no malicious Intent behind these offerings. If I’m correct-“ he turns to Kisame “you need these for your legendary sword – Samehada” 

Kisame looks over her shoulder at her sword, the bandaging having rips and ware from the continuous use and from Samehada’s spikes. Maybe it was time for a change, she thinks, grabbing the wrapping. Hidan takes the weapon wax and pulls the lid off swiping some on her finger to assess if it was of good use for her scythe, after all, it was a gift from Jashin. The two women turn to the young man looking up at them hopefully.

“Well thanks, bye-“ Hidan says, already walking away from the vendor, Kisame grabbed her cloak and pulled her back, pushing her close to the young man and wrapping an arm around her neck, a sharp grin on her face.

“Don’t be a bitch, say thank you properly to the kid” she prods, making the small angry woman scowl before rolling her eyes, turning to the young man. “Thanks for the free shit, really” 

Letting the girl go they said their goodbyes to the young man before continuing on. It was getting dark and the rain was starting to fall, so Kisame and Hidan turned to an inn close by to the hideout, Kisame ordering a bottle of sake and sitting down in a booth with Hidan.

“You’re not drinking?” Kisame questions, eyeing the girl next to her, watching as she shrugs and adjusts the bandages she uses to cover her breasts. “That shit numbs pain dumbass, I have sacrifices and shit to do later”

Kisame rolls her eyes, sliding a cup towards the girl. 

“One drink”

“Are you fucking kidding? I said no!”

“Drink with me or I’ll kick your ass into next week” This makes Hidan shoot a wicked grin towards her blue friend. 

“That a threat or a promise?” 

“Well I guess you’ll just have to find out huh?” Kisame teases, the two women share a look before throwing their heads back and laughing. Kisame ends up drinking long into the night and challenging Hidan to a brawl before they head back to base, Kisame was victorious as she held Hidan in a headlock before they both fell into the mud below, looking up at the sky as the rain drizzled over them. 

“We have to do this more often” Hidan elbows Kisame, making the shark woman turn her gaze to the smaller.”what? Lay in the mud? Have you gone insane or is that the sore loser talking eh?” She quips.

“I fucking mean hang out! We don’t do this enough, you’re like, the one bitch in that entire base I can stand to be around” Hidan mumbles, sitting up and pulling what mud she can from her hair. Kisame sits up and chuckles, wrapping the pale woman in an affectionate one armed hug. Her cheek resting against the crown of her head. 

“Whatever you say you little psycho”

“ I take it back, fuck off”

**Author's Note:**

> Tenshindo - I researched Kisame’s favourite foods and I think a version of this can have both Crab and Shrimp!


End file.
